No Other Lover

Title: No Other Lover
Summary: Anger, resentment, guilt… the perfect mixture to create a lethal cocktail called Rekindling.
Pairing: Saul Peterson/Lily Hades – OCs
Fandom: Original Characters from FiveM roleplay.
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 8612 words

WARNING: Darkness, torture. With a happy ending.

———————–

Her heart hurt.

Jealousy was her current companion as she watched the beautiful bride get married to the handsome groom. To be fair, there wasn’t anything that man couldn’t wear – he’d even look sexy wearing trash bags.

Lily could see everything from her perch in the park. Dangerous and powerful people were in attendance at the wedding, including the groom’s sworn enemies. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. It made sense that other gangs came to see a gang leader get married – gang politics.

The invitation to the wedding had shown up in her email inbox one day. She’d been unable to trace the source, but Lily had come back to Los Santos just to watch from a distance. The wedding invitation looked adorable, classy. One with old-style lettering and decorated with flowers.

The groom didn’t deserve a happy ending after he fled town for being accused of being a snitch. He didn’t deserve to be the leader of one of the oldest gangs in the city, and he surely didn’t deserve a fancy wedding like this.

Saul Peterson was a master of ducking responsibilities and a master of somehow always making things right.

But not with her.

Not with Lily.

One day, he had just upped and left. Saul often went on small business trips, so Lily had thought nothing of it, but after a few weeks and no sign of life, she knew Saul had just left her.

He left Lily after promising her he would keep her safe from everyone who had an issue with her last name because of what her brother had done. Saul had just left her without warning, mere days after he proposed to her at Burger Shot.

‘No,’ is what she should have said. Who in their right mind proposes at Burger Shot? The situation was so awkward that their friend Tyler had to walk away from it all. Lily only said yes because her brother had told her that Saul was decent enough and someone who could keep her safe.

Boy, if only her brother knew how wrong he had been!

Lily had planned to shoot Saul in the head on his wedding day; have his blood splattered all over his bride before Lily remembered Saul was immortal. Or, at least, he claimed to be. So now she wanted to shoot his red-headed bride in the head.

Lily looked at the people in the crowd through the scope of her rifle. Apart from the Reapers in attendance, there were Crips and Aces too – some Dukes… Lily had meant to join the Dukes. She had wanted to, and now this new woman had taken her place.

Only because Saul had left her.

And only because Lily had been too weak to wait for Saul. She made a mistake and had to fake her death.

And was that Sully Hunter, the underboss of the Reapers, dressed in pink?!

And the girl’s man of honor?!

Who the hell was she? How could she get a psychopath who always dressed in black wearing pink? Was Saul marrying someone who was part of a gang who were his sworn enemies? It was smart but also idiotic. Had this girl melted whatever was left of Saul’s brains?

If Sully Hunter had no issues dressing up in pink for some girl who was getting married, that meant that this girl meant something to him. His sister? Did he even have a sister?

Lily was startled when suddenly she heard branches break behind her. Turning around, she didn’t have time to shoot whoever had snuck up behind her, and the rifle was out of her hands. She let out a low growl and was ready to punch before she looked straight at a dead man’s face.

“You’re supposed to be dead!” Lily hissed at her visitor and reached for her handgun, but he was faster. Stronger.

Lily found herself pinned down, his hands on her arms pressing her into the sand. “Funny,” he replied. “You’re one to talk, seeing as we died together.”

Ash Houston, her biggest mistake, was looking straight at her with that hint of insanity in his eyes. And apparently, he was not dead.

Ash had been watching her the moment she arrived in town for her brother, and when it was clear that Saul wasn’t returning, Ash made sure that Lily became his. Ash was a master at making her feel weak, and not in a good way. But no more. Both men had wronged her and that had filled her with hatred and resentment towards both Ash and Saul in the last couple of months, and the feeling was intoxicating.

Lily could feel her heart pound in her chest as he didn’t take his eyes off of her. “Why aren’t you dead?”

“I wanted to be free of you,” she replied, her voice barely a whisper. “W-what’s your excuse?” Lily stammered because that had been her response to him constantly when they were together, but she wasn’t afraid. Ash was a useless bag of shit.

“I wanted to get rid of you,” Ash replied, not moving an inch, his weight still pressing down on her. “You were a disappointment, a disgrace to your family’s name, and too kind. You ruined me.”

“You ruined yourself,” Lily tried to wiggle free. Ash smelled as if he hadn’t showered in months. It was disgusting. “You didn’t need me to do that; you threw away your cozy spot in a gang because you didn’t get promoted up,” she did not know where that small amount of bravery came from, likely a place of resentment, and she immediately got punished for it when Ash slapped her face.

She winced, but with the sudden weight gone from her arm, she drew her gun and shot Ash in the head before he realized what was going on. Before she could even find out why he was here. Lily could feel the blood on her face, the weight of his body on hers, but she knew she had to leave as quickly as possible because she was supposed to be dead, and it was a given that everybody at that wedding was packing some serious heat.

Lily quickly glanced over to the Observatory after pushing Ash’s body off of her, and lo-and-behold, everyone had their gun out and were looking at the ridge. She gathered her casing and pocketed her gun before scrambling to her feet and taking her rifle with her as she fled the scene. By the time she had reached her Elegy – the car left to her by her brother after he died, people had already made their way over and were looking at Ash’s body.

Regret sunk in as she drove off towards Harmony. She should have tied Ash up and taken him somewhere to ask him why the hell he was back and why the hell he’d been at the wedding.

At least she got to kill someone today.

These bloodied clothes had to go first, and she needed to take a shower.

Lily followed Saul for days, and if he wasn’t around, she followed his bride. Her name was Femke, and she was just hired as EMS. Femke was clean and organized, and she was an EMS who was married to the leader of the Dukes, a gang.

And… Femke was hanging out with the people Saul resented so much; Reapers. One in particular was a guy called Mason, and Femke was very affectionate towards him. Lily did some digging and found out that Femke used to be married to that guy, who then decided to go on a long trip out of town and pushed Femke away, into Saul’s arms, over text.

What a jerk.

And Saul was an idiot for letting that happen.

But at least now it made sense as to why there were so many Reapers at the wedding and why Sully Hunter had— no, it didn’t make sense for Sully to dress up in pink for the wedding of the ex-wife of his minion… unless… Was Sully in love with Femke?

Ew.

Lily had briefly considered becoming an EMS after becoming the only Hades in the city, but that thought had gone as soon as it came in. There was no way that she would work for the same institution that her older brother Ajax and her other brother Nester had been working at. She was not going to follow in their footsteps, despite having taught herself to do medical shit for the people she was with.

Whenever Lily saw Saul and Femke together, he seemed to feign happiness. Was he miserable being married to Ms. Perfect? Saul didn’t even include her in his talks with other gangs; there were some issues with the Aces, and Saul wanted to try and help them. In all honesty, while Saul was all noble and all, he didn’t know to leave well enough alone. Other gangs weren’t his priority; the Dukes should be.

Because let’s face it, the Dukes were a mess.

The Dukes weren’t even a real gang; they were more a social club, hanging around at Burger Shot and having a new turf close by in the canals.

If the Dukes were going to war at some point, Lily was sure to stick around for that. There was no way that the Dukes were in shape to go to war, and there would be a lot of casualties. Surely, Saul’s magic tongue would stop working at some point, and a war would be the result of it.

And that was going to be glorious.

And she hated to admit it, but she missed Saul’s magic tongue.

The thought of that excited her, but when Saul left town to go on a business trip, Lily followed him. Lily wasn’t surprised that the business trip was a trip to Las Vegas. She watched Saul gamble – and win, and followed him to what supposedly was his business; a big ass drug sale.

But, instead of loading it all up in his car and going home, Saul loaded everything up in his car and drove out of Las Vegas to some backwater mining town and withdrew into the hotel with a big bag of cocaine.

Lily didn’t see him for days but made sure that the people working at the hotel regularly made contact with him and reported back to her. Saul was on a drug binge, by himself, unsupervised. No visitors and Lily could have sworn to hear him cry at some point.

If anything, this ‘business trip’ was just Saul withdrawing from everything and everyone to hold himself a pity party without people seeing how bad he was doing.

Giving a fuck about Saul’s well-being shouldn’t be on the cards, but if she gave a fuck, Lily would have kicked down that door and kept him company. But Saul lost that level of care from her when he left her.

But if he were to die, it would be by her hands and not his own.

Saul seemed refreshed and had repacked himself when returning to Los Santos, but it wasn’t as if he could take it easy; someone within the Dukes had declared war on the Reapers, and bullets flew everywhere.

It was chaos, and Lily was all for it.

The new kids in the Dukes had no idea how to defend their turf, and the Reapers kept downing them over and over, and when they went to Jamestown, it weren’t the Reapers who went to the hospital, either.

Saul was torn between taking care of his people and his wife, and he seemed so stressed as did Femke. Lily followed her to Jamestown a few times, where she received hugs from Reapers, including her ex-husband Mason. Femke spent a lot of time with her ex-husband, and Lily was confident that she had bought a few guns for him, too.

Which made Lily wonder… did Femke truly love Saul and marry him because of it, or was there something else at play? Were Femke and Mason perhaps scheming to bring down the Dukes so they both could rise in the Reapers?

That’s what Lily would have done.

It was likely something innocent, but Lily was intrigued. But she figured Mason and Femke weren’t that smart, especially since the former spouses weren’t hiding their friendship. Femke did her best to stay out of Saul’s way, though. Have him handle everything Dukes-related, including finishing the war and instructing his minions.

Lily could tell nobody was listening to him, tho. Everyone was listening to this crazy, shirtless man with a shit ton of tattoos called Mickey. In Saul’s absence, he had taken the lead of the Dukes instead of Femke.

Maybe that was why Femke stayed away from it all.

Or, maybe, the bitch was too selfish and didn’t want to lose her cushy EMS job by participating in gang on gang violence. In any case, Lily didn’t like that Femke wasn’t openly supporting Saul.

But Lily didn’t care. The more torment for Saul, the better. He deserved it. But he also earned better than that ginger bitch. But he didn’t deserve to be happy, either.

It was getting harder not to care about Saul. Her anger towards him was slowly turning into something else, and she couldn’t quite identify what she was feeling, just that she was less inclined to kill him. Now she just wanted him to suffer.

Lily had found herself as close as she possibly could when she was following Femke and Mason to one of their spots; this time it was at the pier underneath the rollercoaster. Mason was wearing his usual beige and black hoodie, his black pants and his shoes, an askew baseball cap, and his Reaper mask was in his pocket.

In a way, Mason reminded Lily of Ash. And she didn’t like it.

But the Femke that Lily saw with Mason was a different Femke than Lily saw around Saul. Femke was shaking in Mason’s arms, mumbling about purple puppies with teeth, and Mason was rubbing Femke’s back, asking if she was taking her medication. She talked about people following her, criticizing her, wanting to drive a wedge between her and Saul. Bugs underneath her skin.

Sully was mentioned; Femke wondered if Saul was the right man for her because she felt he was drowning in responsibilities and didn’t want to throw herself on top of the pile, either. But Sully had told Femke while he was driving her to the wedding with Saul that she could not marry Saul and marry Sully instead.

Lily succeeded in stifling a laugh. Saul married a crazy person that he likely didn’t know of, and his wife visited her ex-husband to help deal with it.

And just like that, Lily had an idea to make Saul’s life even more miserable.

She snuck away and grabbed her car from underneath the pier, and drove off. She needed supplies, but she had plans. Swinging by the megamall, she bought a few pieces of rope and a knife, and a quick stop at the black market in Grapeseed ensured her that she had a molotov cocktail. Mason was going to make a pretty bonfire.

Lily broke into Pillbox to get some sedatives and stole Femke’s medical files that stated she was certified crazy. From what she had observed, Femke likely hadn’t told Saul, while he was certified crazy himself, so Lily wasn’t sure why Femke hid it from her husband.

A couple of days later, Lily found Saul’s Cabrio at Burger Shot, with no one in sight, so she quickly threw the envelope with Femke’s medical records onto the driver’s seat and waited across the street on a roof to see what Saul’s reaction would be.

Saul was walking up to Burger Shot from the canals, talking on the radio to someone and tiredly pinching the bridge of his nose. Perfect. He was already agitated. The agitation turned into surprise on finding the envelope in his car and then sadness. Anger. Defeat.

And it was beautiful.

Saul didn’t even take Femke somewhere quiet to talk, it took only a few minutes for her to drive up to Burger Shot, and Saul was angrily pacing around as he spoke; Femke was hanging her head in shame and eventually crying. Then Saul’s entire demeanor changed, the angry bear turning into a puddle of goo and wrapping his arms around his wife. His fingers dug into her hair. He was kissing the top of her head.

Lily had thought that with Saul knowing the truth and learning that his wife was hiding things from him, that something else would have happened, but instead, he forgave her.

Well, that sucked.

Angry, Lily got off the roof and checked her supplies before going on the hunt. Ropes. Knife. Molotov. Gun. Body armor. Mason was a Reaper, it wasn’t going to be easy to take him down, but he was going to die tonight. Lily needed to injure someone tonight to let off some steam. Just like she had done with Tyler. Tyler hadn’t deserved happiness, and she kidnapped him and carved him.

Mason meant something to Femke, and Femke meant something to Saul. So she was going to hurt someone and kill someone tonight. Mason was going to die. Femke was going to get hurt. Saul was likely going to be pissed off.

Finding Mason was surprisingly not that hard. He was in a private booth at the Vanilla Unicorn, which was perfect because nobody took the back exit close to the private booths, and she could take him through there. She watched the scantily clad woman leave the booth and slipped in, holding the syringe in her hand that was in her pocket and sliding onto the couch Mason was sitting on, half undressed. The booth smelled like sex.

“It’s not me you want,” Mason said in his deep voice, reminding her so much of Ash. “I was just—”

“Shhh,” Lily put her finger on Mason’s lips and helped him get dressed. He was bigger and heavier than she remembered; she had to think of something else. “Is your car close?”

“Nah, I walked,” he replied, looking at her. “My god, you’re beautiful.”

She smiled then and ran a finger down his cheek. “Well, big boy, how about I drive you home?”

“I can walk.”

“You sure?” she looked up at him through her lashes and licked her lips. “Because I think that you could go for another round…”

“Fuck.”

Lily winked at him as she led him through the backdoor and put him into her car. She had chosen her Elegy, mainly because it was fast and she could drive it very well. And, perhaps, he recognized it if he had been around long enough.

She got into the driver’s seat and made sure Mason was wearing his seatbelt, and smiled at him. “So, how often do you visit the VU?”

“Ah,” a blush appeared on his cheeks. “Not that often… only after I met up with someone.”

So that was where Femke came from before talking to Saul. “You miss her?”

Mason had a surprised look on his face. “Yeah, but I did right by her.”

“You know, sometimes men should stop making decisions for their partners,” she said as she locked the doors from the inside. “Have a decent conversation with them and make the decision together.”

“We did,” Mason barked out a laugh. “I was going to leave town, and she needed to be taken care of.”

“Ever thought of maybe taking her with you? Like… I don’t know…” Lily started the car and drove off towards the docks. “If you’re strapped, put your shit into the glovebox, I don’t want to get poked by anything else or risk it accidentally going off,” she instructed him as she kept her eyes on the road. From the corner of her eye, she could see that he did as she told him to. Horny men were all the same.

She took him to the Elysian Island, making sure not to drive into Merryweather territory as she didn’t fancy getting shot, and parked up the car in the dark, with a nice view over the water. She unbuckled her seatbelt and shifted a little so she could grab the rope from the backseat. “Are you into bondage?”

“Uh…”

“All wrapped up,” she purred as she unbuckled his seatbelt. Wrapping the rope around his wrists and securing it, she tugged on it with a wolfish grin on her face. She then moved so she could tie his legs together too. Lily got out of the car and made sure her body armor was nice and snug as she rounded the car to open the passenger seat door and pulled Mason out of the vehicle, he landed on the ground with a thud.

“Ow!”

“Poor boy,” she hummed as she took out her knife and started to cut a ribbon of cloth from his hoodie. Gagging him with his hoodie, she continued to cut open his hoodie and his pants as he struggled on the floor. He had started to be smarter and tried to hit her with his hands, so she used another rope to tie his hands to his body. And another rope to tie his ankles.

She carved ‘snitch’ in his chest; the agonizing sounds he was making turned her on. The muffled screams filled her body with joy. The next carving was ‘ReaperK,’ and then she buried the knife into his abdomen, definitely not missing the right arteries, but also not removing the blade so she could have a little more fun before he’d bleed out. For now, there was blood trickling out of the wound, around the knife, and it looked glorious.

“It’s nothing personal,” she pulled the duffel bag out of the trunk and opened the plastic bottle. “I just have an itch to scratch, and with you dead… it will scratch that itch for a while,” Lily said in a sing-song voice and poured a bit of the substance out of the bottle, a whiff of gasoline filling the air as she dripped it into his cuts.

Mason squirmed on the floor, a muffled “Please, stop,” filling her heart with glee.

“Oh, babe, I haven’t even started yet, and you want me to stop already?” She looked at him; fear was in his eyes. “You are such a bore,” Reaching into the bag, she retrieved a pencil and pushed it into one of Mason’s eyes.

The way his body convulsed and his scream filling the cold air was magic.

Lily decided to leave the pencil there; she could hear his breathing become ragged, his heart was no doubt beating so fast, there was sweat on his forehead, she could see it glisten in the moonlight, but her artwork wasn’t done.

Her job not done.

Her itch not scratched.

“You’re a Reaper. I figured you would be tougher than this,” she pouted as she got to her feet and pulled the blade out of his stomach, causing blood to flow freely. “It’s quite disappointing,” Lily stabbed him again, this time burying the blade entirely into his stomach and wiggling it around to create more damage before tossing the knife into the water. The way the blood was flowing and the sounds Mason was making were fascinating.

Art.

“I’m sorry, it’s come to this,” Lily said in a calm voice as she pushed the bottle of gasoline into his cut, upside down, the bottle filling with blood, and the gas and blood mixing. “But there is no other way. For other people to suffer, you need to be dead. It’s nothing personal.”

Lily had brought a gun to maybe end his suffering, but seeing as he really couldn’t take much more, she decided against using it to prolong his agony. Lily took a few pictures of Mason’s body, including the carvings, threw her bag back into the trunk, and retrieved the Molotov.

As she drove off, she threw the Molotov on his body and watched as it went up in flames in her rearview mirror.

Job done.

Lily drove to Paleto to buy a set of new clothes, wash herself in the sea, and dropped her clothes into a barrel on the beach that was on fire. She opened her phone and made a new Twitter account, and after opening a bottle of champagne, she started to post pictures of Mason’s body onto Twitter for the entire city to see.

And it didn’t take long for the mayhem to break loose on Twitter.

Reapers were out for blood; other gangs were rejoicing. Lily let out a snort as she watched Twitter go nuts and took a sip of her bottle of champagne, forcing herself not to use the account to post crazy shit because this was enough. More than enough.

No. It wasn’t enough. Mason’s body would be taken to the morgue by the cops, and she wanted to see people suffer.

Taking her bottle of alcohol with her, she grabbed another vehicle and drove back to the city, where, surprisingly, she only saw two cops and Saul and Femke with Mason’s body. Where were the angry Reapers? The rejoicing rival gangs?

Lily climbed onto the hospital’s roof next door and kept drinking, waiting for more people to show up, but there were none. She had hoped that this Mason guy was more popular or loved, but instead, Lily had given everyone a reason to shoot at each other. Mayhem.

Mayhem and disorder in the city.

Eh, it worked.

What was important, though, was to see Femke completely falling apart over Mason’s dead body and Saul trying his best to try and comfort her, but kind of looking like a lost puppy when doing so. There is no way that Saul wasn’t having second thoughts; who in the hell had this kind of a response on the death of their ex-spouse?

Lily wasn’t sure how much longer she could watch this pathetic display. She couldn’t imagine feeling that deeply for someone or being saddened by someone’s death. Even when Callum died, Lily pretended to be upset for those who knew him or about him, but it didn’t affect her much.

What affected her more was when she wanted to kill the person who killed her brother, was that the killer put her into place and tried to take her under his wing. His voice was calm and commanding, and Lily felt funny in all the wrong places.

It was then when the guy ghosted her, which sucked, and he died a few days after she supposedly did.

Lily wanted to kill Femke now, just so that Saul could be free of her. Saul didn’t deserve this. Saul deserved someone who was less in touch with their feelings and who was just as crazy as he was. He didn’t understand what Femke was feeling nor knew how to deal with them. Lily could see that.

She downed the bottle of champagne in one go. Nope, she was doing it again; Lily was feeling sorry for Saul. He deserved this.

Lily wasn’t done breaking him.

She kept watching Femke and Saul for a few more weeks. Saul became increasingly more unstable. More Dukes were leaving the gang. Saul withdrew into himself more and more, taking hours away from his responsibilities drinking and binging on drugs, and his behavior becoming more reckless by the day.

Maybe it was time to intervene.

Saul was driving around in his Neon, high as a kite and drunk as a skunk, and, as expected, wrapped the car around a tree in the hills, close to the home that he shared with his wife. He wasn’t getting out of the car like he usually did, which meant he was either passed out or dead.

Lily got out of her car and pulled him out of his. He was wearing his Dukes hoodie with no sleeves, showing off his tattoo sleeve on his left arm, a pair of skin-tight jeans that enhanced all of his assets, and his light-up shoes. A lot of orange.

She quickly checked his breathing and was relieved to find out that he was still breathing. Saul had a small cut on his forehead, but as always, Saul was lucky that the mix of alcohol and drugs had numbed him. “Alright, dumbass, we’re going to have a nice chat,” Lily dragged him over to her car and pushed him into the backseat. She covered Saul with a blanket and drove off towards Mount Gordo. Lily had been planning this for weeks and had found a nice spot where she could be alone with him.

Saul was still out cold when she parked the vehicle next to the small lake in the mountains, and Lily pulled the blanket off of him. She removed everything out of his pockets that could potentially hurt her or set him free and tied him up nicely.

The cool air woke Lily up, and she was confident that Saul would wake up from it too, but not yet. He was safe and secure in her car while she made things right. She started a small fire and pulled sleeping bags out of the vehicle, making a nice cozy pile. Grinning, she laid out a few knives, some salt, some water, and some bottles of vodka.

Once she was all set, she pulled Saul out of the warm vehicle and not being careful about it, either. Saul had a hard head, despite just having hit it on the steering wheel of his car. Lily made sure that he had suffered no broken bones and no concussion, and now she was going to have to wait for him to come to.

Sitting down at the fire, she took a sandwich from her bag and started eating it, looking over to the unconscious form of her former lover. He looked so tired. Saul had lost some weight, and his skin looked pale. Lily wanted to pull him into her arms and tell him that she was back now and that everything was going to be okay, but she wasn’t doing that.

It was unlike her to do that.

No, it wasn’t unlike her. Saul was the first and only man she had felt anything like that before, and she hated him for ditching him like that. Saul deserved all the torment he had received over the last few months, he had deserved the decline in his well-being, and Saul deserved everything he had lost.

He leaving her like that, with no word, it felt as if he had taken out Lily’s heart and squeezed it, twisted it around, and put it back into her chest. Ash had taken advantage of that weakness and convinced her to date him, but Lily was never really into it. Ash was a big baby, and Saul was just a simple man with simple needs and needed someone who balanced him out. And Femke wasn’t that.

Lily knew that Femke was hanging out with the Reapers at this moment. She’d been doing her own thing while Saul was away, and Sully Hunter had been helping her grieve by teaching her how to get a handle on her emotions. Showed her how useless they were.

Lily had to give it to him; Sully had the patience of a saint, and he seemed to be able to keep her under control.

Saul wasn’t good with complex emotions. Lily didn’t have those, but she knew what Saul needed, and she had felt like he knew the same about her.

Not undressing him and herself and fuck him right now was difficult. But Lily didn’t deserve that, and neither did he. He deserved to suffer just a little bit more. Lily would then walk away for good. She just wanted her revenge.

She opened a bottle of vodka, took a large sip of it, and kicked against Saul’s feet to try and wake him up. Lily saw him move a little, so she kicked him some more as she took a few more swigs of alcohol. “Huh?” Saul groaned as he tried to move but was bound. “Wha?” Lily took another swig of the drink to hide that she was smiling as Saul sounded adorable. “Where am I?”

“Hell,” Lily replied nonchalantly. “You’re going to be spending the rest of eternity with me.”

“I’m dead?”

Lily huffed. “You’re immortal.”

“Right!” Saul sounded a lot brighter all of a sudden and tried to sit up to orientate himself. Lily wasn’t going to help him; she loved watching him struggle and continued to drink her alcohol. “Where are we?”

“Somewhere.”

“Fem…”

Lily grabbed a knife and lunged forward to hold the blade against Saul’s throat, making him look at her. “Do I look like your wife?” she hissed. “Is your brain that fucked up?”

Saul blinked as he looked at her. Shock and recognition on his face. “You’re dead!”

“Obviously, I’m not.” She didn’t want to hurt his throat or his face, not yet. “You’re going to tell me why you disappeared on me when things got rough in this city,” Lily said as she placed the knife down. “But only if you’re sober.”

“Well, a car crash, the fresh air, and the sight of the Ghost of Christmas Past sobers a person right up!” Saul countered, annoyed. “And I don’t want to revisit that time.”

She lightly pressed the blade against his throat before moving it down his chest towards his private parts. “You know what’s bad for a person’s mental health, Saul?” Lily cocked her head as she watched him; surprisingly, his eyes seemed to be darker. “Unresolved issues, so we’re going to resolve this unresolved thing.”

“Lily, I moved on.”

“And you’re miserable, and I’m fucking angry.”

Saul barked out a laugh. “I’m not miserable! I’m… I— I’m happily married,” he stammered. “I’m the leader of the Dukes. We’re doing well, I mean… as well as we can be with the Dukes. Holding parties at Burger shot… Street races.”

“And you, Mr. Peterson, you’re lying,” Lily pressed the blade against his pants, the inside of his leg. “I’m not buying your shit, and you need to be honest with yourself. What happened?”

“I don’t owe you an explanation, Lily,” The blade on his inner thigh didn’t even faze Saul, and Lily hated that. “You, on the other hand… do owe me an explanation.”

Lily huffed as she took another swig of her bottle of vodka before repositioning herself and starting to cut open his left pant leg. “No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, you do,” he replied, still watching her intensely, his eyes even darker and a playful smile on his face. “I just left on a business trip, and I come back to find out you married someone else and died. I wasn’t even worth it for you to wait for me.”

“I would have,” she replied, narrowing her eyes on him. “If you had told me, I would have gone with you.”

“Lily…” Saul sighed, shaking his head a little. “I don’t want to have this conversation sober.”

“Too bad,” she replied as she took another swig of the bottle. “You’ve been numbing yourself for the last few months with drugs and alcohol, and you’re gonna talk.”

“No, you lost that right,” he let out a chuckle, and then a hiss as Lily made a shallow cut with the blade on his inner thigh. “You can torture me all you want, baby. You know I like it.”

She knew he did, and she wasn’t sure if she could HURT him. “I really want to hurt you.”

“Then do it.”

“I killed Ash.”

Saul seemed to think for a moment and then realized when she did that. “You were at the wedding?”

Lily nodded. “For some reason, I received an invite, and I decided to check it out. Quite the political party.”

“That’s what you get when you’re the leader of a gang,” Saul let out a snort. “What did you think of the wedding?”

Lily shrugged. “I kept thinking what would be better… shoot you, or kill your bride,” she took another swig of her vodka. “And then there was Ash.”

“Death didn’t stick, huh?”

“Look, he was dead; I saw him die while I laid on the floor next to him. I was shocked to see that he was not dead,” Lily took another sip. “So I killed him because he hurt me, just like you.”

“I know.”

“What? That he hurt me or that I killed him?”

“Ash was a bottom-feeding snake who somehow had the talent to manipulate people into giving him what he wanted,” Saul replied, still keeping his eyes on Lily. “He used people. There is no doubt that he only wanted you because of your last name, not for who you are. And I am sorry.”

“For what?”

“That I wasn’t there to protect you from him.”

Lily scowled as she made another shallow cut on his exposed upper thigh.

“I wonder… how angry were you when you realized I was gone and left without a word?”

She dropped the knife and punched Saul in the face. Lily sat back down again and finished her bottle of vodka as she stared into the campfire. She wanted to kill him but couldn’t. Saul needed to be punished for what he did, but she knew that she had been in the wrong too; she’d been weak after Saul left.

“You’re giving me the silent treatment now?”

Lily knew that Saul would be the first to speak, despite the state he was in. She had seen the change in him after he realized who she was. He was alert, his eyes had this mischievous spark in them, and Saul didn’t even seem to mind that he was tied up and had minor cuts on his inner thigh – in fact, he seemed to be turned on by it. The bulge in his pants wasn’t easy to ignore.

“I had to leave, Lily. You have no idea what I—”

“No, and that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Lily picked up the knife again and played with it. “You didn’t talk to me about what was wrong and just left me. Do you have any idea what I have gone through? Everyone, including my brother, was wondering why I was defending you! Saul Peterson, the snitch!”

“Do not ever take those words into your mouth again!” Saul spat. “Out of all people, I figured you would know me better than that!”

“I defended you for a very long time, Saul. And when I didn’t hear anything from you, I eventually started to believe what people were saying. I was alone. I didn’t have anyone. I wasn’t close with the kids, or with anyone else for that matter,” She pulled out another bottle of vodka from the bag and took another swig. Lily’s eye fell onto the salt that she’d put out too and rubbed some of it on the minor cuts, causing Saul to hiss. “I thought I meant something to you.”

“I didn’t tell you anything because I wanted to protect you.”

“You are the first and only person I ever felt something for, Saul,” Lily tried to fight the tears that she felt coming up. She was supposed to hurt him, not to bare her soul to him.

“I didn’t tell you anything because I wanted to protect you,” he repeated. “Untie me?”

Lily poured some of the vodka over his salted cuts causing him to hiss.

“I didn’t tell you because, sure, I was taking some time away to deal with Dukes shit and get my affairs in order, but also because I heard that your twin sisters were looking for you,” he shot at her. “Steffi and Jessie were bound to find you and ruin your life, so…”

“So, what?” Steffi and Jessie were older than her, and they were the ones who set the precedence of the black sheep in the family. Nester and Ajax were the golden children, and everyone else was neglected and had to do what they needed to do to survive.

“I didn’t want them to hurt you… or, you know… kill you. So I didn’t tell you because I took care of them, and you didn’t need to know.”

“Took care of them?”

“Yeah. Nobody will ever find the bodies.”

Lily took another swig of the bottle and stared at him, processing the words he had just said. Steffi and Jessie were dangerous, and they had never liked Lily for being the youngest sister. It’s one of the reasons why Lily had been hiding for years. Hell, her entire family made her flee them all, except for Callum. Callum would be the only person she’d ever come back for, and she had. “You should have told me.”

“Untie me so I can give you a hug.”

“I don’t need your hugs, Saul,” Lily rose to her feet and felt the alcohol hitting her. “The only thing I want is for you to suffer.”

“I don’t suffer.”

“No, no, you don’t. The only thing you do is put up with the crap. You’re blind to everything around you; you just choose to ignore it and numb yourself with drugs and alcohol. You can’t just ignore things until it goes away!” She kicked against a rock and watched it fall into the water. “When things get rough, you run. Or you hide.”

“Yeah,” Saul agreed with a nod. “And then I come back stronger and fix things.”

“You can’t fix what’s already broken, Saul. I’ve been in town for months. Watching you, watching your new wife… D-did you know she was extremely close with her ex-husband? Like… uncomfortably close? Did that even stop when I made sure you got her medical records?”

“That was you?”

She smiled then and made a curtsy, although the amount of alcohol in her system made it wobbly and nearly made her fall over into the fire. “You see, I prefer openness and communication so that all parties involved know what the fuck they’re doing. Your wife hadn’t even told you that she was on medication and unstable, and instead, she went to her ex-husband for support. Shutting you out.”

“We all have secrets… hers turned out to be pretty big but manageable.”

“Saul… you don’t get it. She spent more time with him than with you because you went on ‘business trips’ so that you didn’t have to deal with her behavior. How was Vegas, by the way?”

“How is she doing with Mason dead anyway? Did you ask her that?”

“She’s fine!”

Lily barked out a laugh. “She’s with someone who can give her what she needs – emotional availability and the ability to make her roll over and heel.”

“She’s home.”

“Nah,” Lily took another swig of the bottle. “She’s with Sully. Likely having mindblowing sex, too.”

“No way.”

“Oh come on, Mr. badass Reaper underboss dressed up in pink to be your wife’s maid of honor,” she let out a snort. “Granted, he can make just about anyone roll over to rub their bellies with the way he speaks…”

“Lily…”

“How long has she been withdrawing from you, huh? Since Mason died?”

“Lily,” Saul warned her again. “Don’t go there. You can’t just walk back into my life and tell me what’s wrong with it because nothing’s wrong.”

“Says who?”

“Me,” a broad smile appeared on his face. “You see, I’m a better actor than you think. Everyone underestimates me. Even you.”

“No, I don’t,” she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You look fucking miserable.”

“I know,” he grinned. “Now, untie me.”

“No,” Lily said as she pushed her foot against Saul’s shoulder to give him a nudge down to the ground and kept her foot on his shoulder as she took another sip of her drink. “Talk.”

“No.”

“I swear to God…”

Saul started to laugh. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

Removing her foot from his shoulder, Lily kicked him in the ribs and fell backward, her bottle of vodka shattering on one of the bigger rocks. She must have lost consciousness briefly because Saul was untied when she opened her eyes, hovering over her with her knife in his hand and her hands pinned over her head. “You’re good,” he said appreciatively. “But I am better.”

Saul ran the blade of the flat side of the knife down her cheek and her throat, sending shivers down Lily’s spine. “Everything that has been happening with Femke has been part of my plan,” he said in a low voice, not taking his eyes off of Lily. “Granted, Mason’s untimely death sent my plan into a tailspin, but I like a challenge.”

The familiar weight of Saul’s body trapping hers, his hand holding her wrists above her head, and the way he looked at her was just too much; she could barely keep her thoughts straight as her body wanted more. Her body was betraying her mind, and that sucked. “Did you find out who killed him?”

“Well… if you think you’ve been messing with my life the last few months… I’d take a guess and say that you did it,” Saul whispered in her ear and licked her neck just below the ear. “How am I doing so far?”

Lily responded by putting her legs over his, trapping him on top of her body. “He was dumb and weak, couldn’t take much.”

“A bottom feeder, lowest of the low… kinda like Ash, come to think of it,” Saul replied, the tip of the knife making a small incision on the base of her neck. “I appreciated the artful pictures you posted on Twitter… did you take more?”

“Uhuh…” Lily responded.

“Can I see?”

“Not until you tell me,” she looked up at him through her lashes and bit the bottom part of her lip. Saul knew her weaknesses and turn-ons, and he was much better at torturing someone than she was. “What’s the plan?”

“I don’t kiss and tell Lily,” his voice was low as he nuzzled her neck and licked the blood off of it. “Especially not to someone who decided to fake her own death and left me.”

She tried to get a little more comfortable and shift her body, but Saul had her locked in. “You left me first. Without telling me anything.”

“I just did. I had to deal with the whole Dukes thing, and I took care of your sisters, and I didn’t tell you because I wanted to protect you,” he repeated. “And I should have said something because I left you in a weak position for a leach to sweep you off your feet.”

“And then I died.”

“Yeah, that hurt, but you’re here now,” he used the knife to undo her pants. “And, you just admitted to trying to fuck up my life in the last few months, so what am I to do with you?” Saul retrieved the piece of rope that had been tied around his wrists and bound her wrists before pulling her pants off of her. “At least I’m considerate about your clothes; I can do things without destroying them.”

“I deserve punishment for what I did. Hurt me.”

“Oh, you’re right, you do deserve punishment,” he put the knife down and ran a finger up her inner thigh. “But I’m not going to hurt you, Lily.”

“Hurt me,” Lily begged him as her body involuntarily spasmed.

“I think that we both hurt each other enough by leaving and dying, don’t you think?” Saul caressed her hair and looked at her. “I never stopped loving you, nor got over your death, but I’m immortal, Lily. I… people keep dying on me… and yours really messed me up.”

“I deserve to get hurt.”

“No,” he brushed her lips with his. “Be my partner in crime…” he placed his hand on her inner thigh and squeezed it. “Things are already in play… nobody knows you’re in town…” Saul placed a kiss on her cheek and nuzzled her earlobe. “Femke is a little trojan horse… Sure, I feel a little bit guilty for abusing her, but… she used to be a Reaper, you know,” Saul squeezed her thigh again. “I created the perfect storm for her to be pushed in the right direction. You killing Mason pushed her a little further… but she always had a thing for Sully.”

“I see…”

“The war was great, well-timed. Femke’s position and behavior caused the right amount of friction and an opening back into the Reapers for her. Sully always had a weakness for her. Have her around long enough…” Saul shrugged. “She might cause the same doubt within the Reapers, especially with some of the Dukes having defected.”

Lily was quiet for a second, focusing on Saul’s touch and words. She loved the idea. “They won’t see it coming until it’s too late.”

“Exactly! And when they do, we’ve robbed them blind and weakened them so badly, they have no other option than to disband. They don’t know you’re still alive,, and I certainly didn’t. You’ve been observing us all for the last few months. How about you and I work together on this? You can be my eyes and ears while I sell the story to the rest of the world as the worst husband ever?”

“Can I keep killing baby Reapers?” Lily perked up.

Saul let out a chuckle. “Yes,” he kissed her then. “You and me against the rest of them, what do you say?”

Part of her wishes that he would have just hurt her because she had been wrong too, and two wrongs definitely didn’t make a right, but it could be a start to mend things with Saul. Make him hers again. “Are you sure?”

“Baby, you’re the only one in this world that I trust with this information. I want to see this not dying of yours as a new start. You and me, like we’ve always planned. Clean slate, start where we left off… forgive our mistakes to each other…”

“You still have me tied up,” Lily reminded him as she lowered her arms and put them around Saul’s neck, now firmly holding him in place so he couldn’t move.

“Well… yeah… but you love that,” Saul moved his hand up her thigh and laughed. “I feel that you know.”

Lily blushed furiously. She was soaking wet down there. For him. Because of him.

“So, what do you say?”

She bit her lip as she looked at him. “Under one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t ever – ever – not include me in your schemes. If you need to leave town, I want to know.”

“Deal,” he passionately kissed her. “Now, can we seal the deal because frankly, I don’t think I have much self-control left…”

Lily let out a squeal of delight as his hand moved into her underwear. “Fuck me!”

“Is that a yes?”

Lily could feel his fingers on her moist lips, and she arched her back, thrusting her hips into his hand. “Fuck, yes, fuck me, please,” she begged him, knowing damn well that he was going to take his time the first time just to torture her. She had nowhere to go while she was underneath him and her hands tied.

“Welcome home, baby; I missed you,” Saul said hoarsely and kissed her again, this time not breaking the kiss off as he started to play with her.