Chapter 29

On their way to the Bayou – that was the best place Bella could think of to meet a deranged Mikaelson without too much damage done to surroundings, Klaus filled her in about what Dahlia’s original plan was; to have as many first born Mikaelsons in her fold as possible, for power. To covet the magic. It was no secret to Bella that the Mikaelsons were witches before they turned into vampires; Kol had openly admitted that he would have loved to have his magic back, but that he took solace in teaching everything he knew to witches while still learning from them as well.

During their trip in Italy they had met a witch or two and Bella had loved the excitement in his face when he could teach a witch something they hadn’t previously known. He’d be the perfect candidate to open a school like Hogwarts and teach young witches. Come to think of it, Bella loved to teach as well, maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea…

She then snorted. Yeah, right, a real life Hogwarts, that was a copyright battle waiting to happen.

“So what’s the plan, Bella?” Klaus asked curiously. She had made him pack an extra set of clothes and he wasn’t quite sure why. He had an idea, but that would be ludicrous, wouldn’t it?

“That little shed at the water is still there?” She questioned him as they got out of the car and headed deeper into the Bayou.


“Good,” she smiled at him as she made sure no one was around them and turned into a carbon copy of him. “OH! Bad mistake! Bad! Oh, these jeans! Fuck!” Bella winced as she tried to get out of her pants as quickly as possible while Klaus’ voice came out of her mouth. “Oh, this hurts, oh fuck!”

Klaus was amused as he merely stood back and watched. “Perhaps you should have changed into my clothes first?”

“I didn’t ever have to do that when I changed my appearance before!”

“Ah, yes, but those were different girls with the same body build as you, love,” he smirked as he watched himself topple over as Bella wrestled with her jeans. “I must say… this is hilarious.”

“Stop laughing and help me!”

“Oh, do I really sound like that when I demand something?”

“Yes! But worse!”

Sighing, he pulled off her shoes and tugged on the jeans, surprised by the fact that she wasn’t wearing any underwear and saw his junk stick out. “Bloody hell.”

Bella growled as she snatched the bag and found Klaus’ pants. She got to her feet and blinked at the sensation of something between her legs. Looking down, she raised an eyebrow. “Huh.”


Wiggling her hips, she watched as the penis swung left to right, much like a pendulum and giggled before going a little faster, make it almost look like a helicopter. “Look at me! I’m a helicopter!”

“Bella!” Klaus growled at her. “This is not a time to play!”

“Oh, but it is!”

“Put some pants on,” he growled.

She pouted as she did as she was told, before looking up at him with a mischievous look in her eye. “Want to fuck with everybody’s heads later?”

“Myriam will kill you.”

“Nah,” Bella said as she pulled off her too tight shirt and got into the one provided by Klaus before getting into his shoes. “Now, you go hide in that cabin, I’ll make sure Freya has a pet.”

He scowled, then. “Are you sure this is going to work?”

“Yes,” she sighed and pointed at the cabin. “Go, before I turn you into a woodlands creature and I might not be able to find you to turn you back.” Bella then squeezed her crotch. “Oh, so you guys do like it when this happens!”


“Kol’s is slightly bigger.”


“I’m serious!”


She was still pointing at the cabin and wouldn’t stop until Klaus was inside with her stuff. Shaking her head, she started to stretch a little and crack her neck, changing her stance and hoped that she looked more Klausy than Klaus. Taking a deep breath, she decided to take a page out of Klaus’ playbook and started to call out to Dahlia. “Dahlia! Meet me NOW!” Bella could hear how far her voice – Klaus’ voice – carried, and was amazed by that. “I. Am. Waiting!”

“Niklaus, you have my phone number, why do you need to make such a dramatic spectacle out of everything?”

Bella turned to the voice and saw an older, brunette woman stand in front of her, looking pretty pleased with herself. She had cold, brown eyes and her appearance somewhat reminded Bella of Elijah. Dahlia was definitely their aunt. “Well,” she said casually with half a shrug. “If this is my last moment as a free person, I figured I could do whatever the hell I wanted, don’t you agree?”

Dahlia cocked her head a little to the side. “You have been fighting me on this for weeks, why the sudden change of heart?”

“I am tired of fighting and you have taken advantage of my sister for far too long. I shall take her place and you can bind yourself to me, allowing you to live forever without having to take a 100 year nap.”

“And what makes you think that I am after you, Niklaus?”

“I am the Original Hybrid, I am the strongest of my family and in absence of children for you to take away from their parents, I’m saving you the trouble of having to-”

“Stop talking,” Dahlia replied as she circled Bella, eyeing her curiously. “I don’t want you. Granted, immortality will be a bonus, but you are nothing, Niklaus.”

“I’m here willingly. Freya has been kept against her will.”

“No, Niklaus, the reason I went after you is because there is a power surrounding your family that I have never felt before and I sense that that power has returned after a short absence, no doubt your solution as what to do with me.”

Bella blinked. “My brother was dealing with his grief over his ex-girlfriend overseas, and yes, he has returned, but Kol is no more powerful than Elijah or Rebekah. It is me that you want.”

“Oh dear child, I never said it was a family member,” Dahlia said patronizingly. “Tell me, what is she?”

Well fuck. Dahlia wanted her. “None of your concern.”

“Do not test me, Niklaus. You will surrender the girl or I will kill every single one of you! I will take what has been promised to me!”

“You were promised the first born children of our line,” she countered angrily. “Which is preposterous and wrong. You can’t change the rules simply because we are all vampires and cannot have biological children of our own.”

“Oh, but I can,” Dahlia flicked her hand to cast some spell, but Bella wasn’t even flinching. “What’s this?”

“Surprise, bitch,” Bella said as she finally found the right amount of energy to turn Dahlia into an animal. Quick on her feet, she grabbed the rat by the tail. “Klaus! I hate rats!” She called out as she looked at the squirming black rat in disgust. “Please take her from me!”

“Oh no, love,” Klaus said as he emerged from the cabin. “Your creation, your responsibility. You don’t have to take her back with us, you know.”

“I know that Silas and Amara haven’t turned back but I don’t trust this one.”

“Then allow me to kill her.”

“No,” Bella said as she now cuddled the rat. “You stay away from her. She’s a gift. For Freya.”

Bella still hadn’t turned back to her normal self when they arrived back at the compound. Klaus was quick to hide, allowing Bella to mess with everyone present, wondering how long it would take for them to notice that it wasn’t Klaus they were dealing with.

Bella walked up to Freya and handed her the rat. “Your problem has been dealt with, sister,” she said proudly. “I suggest you find a nice little cage for your tormentor to live out the rest of her days.”

“How did-” Freya blinked at the rat and then at Klaus. “How?”

“That’s for me to know, and for you to find out in due time,” she smiled knowingly before walking to the nearest table and poured a large glass of bourbon.

“Nik, where’s Bella?” Kol asked from his position on the couch as he drank from a servant after his shopping. “What is she planning?”

“She decided to go straight home,” she replied as she passed Kol with a smile on her face, causing him to blink and then smile back at her. “Something about you not being all too happy with her choice of clothing.”

“Right…” Kol dropped the servant and casually looked around. “So, all went well then?”

“Of course, what did you expect?” Bella had nearly the air knocked out of her lungs when all of a sudden she was up against a pillar with Myriam’s lips on hers.

Kol blinked as his mouth fell open in shock. Oh, if only Myriam knew! Was he going to say something? Nah, this was actually quite hot. Besides, it was Myriam, not a complete stranger. “Oh my.”

“What are you looking at?” Myriam shot at Kol. “It’s not as if you’ve never seen this happen before!” She tugged on Klaus’ pants with a grunt. “Off.”

“Oh, yes,” Bella grinned. “I’ve discovered something quite magical today,” she said, immediately dropping Klaus’ pants, revealing his penis. “Look what the guys can do!” She said as she started to wiggle. “Helicopter!”

Freya nearly dropped the rat in shock upon seeing Klaus’ exhibitionism and his out of character behaviour. “Brother, are you on drugs?”

Elijah peeked out of his room before heading straight back in, whatever was going on, it was none of his business, despite his curiosity.

“No, really, Kol, this is awesome!” Bella pushed passed Myriam to walk over to him and he immediately shielded his eyes. “What?”

“I don’t need to see your junk,” Kol whined.

“Ah, but you know what I figured out? It’s a bit smaller than yours! Poor Myriam!”

Myriam’s eyes grew big. “Someone please tell me what’s going on! Now!”

Kol pulled up Bella’s pants and quickly fastened it, just in time too, as Freya cast a spell to send Bella flying across the courtyard. “Freya!”

“That is not our brother.”

“Of course it’s not!” Kol whined as he helped Bella back up to her feet, Klaus’ face now adorned with Bella’s signature pout. “This is my girlfriend playing a prank!”

“That was highly uncalled for,” Klaus’ voice sounded before revealing himself from behind a pillar, an amused smile on his lips. “But thank you, Freya, for your willingness to do everything to protect this family, how are you feeling?”

Myriam growled as she slapped Klaus across his face. “Cochon!”

“I didn’t agree with her, love,” Klaus rubbed his cheek in frustration. “This was all her.”

“The hell it was!”

“I thought she wasn’t a witch?” Freya questioned as she looked at the Klaus doppelganger. “This is impossible!”

Bella let out a whine as she turned back to her usual self, Klaus’ clothes now too big around her. “I’m not a witch!” she retorted before looking up at Kol. “Let’s go home, I need a hot bath.”


They stayed in New Orleans for a few weeks, getting to know Freya better, but also to entertain the family, but both Kol and Bella were itching to go back to what they’d been doing previously; travel.

Bella wanted to check up on Damon and Stefan Salvatore, much to Kol’s dismay, so they spent a week in Bella’s little cabin in Mystic Falls before picking up Myriam in New Orleans to go to a convention in Las Vegas to let out their inner geek. Granted, Kol was pretty much a closeted geek, but he did like the superhero movies and he loved video games and Bella wanted to go to see the actors of her favourite TV shows in person. Besides, if Kol got bored, he’d hit the strip and do some gambling while the girls were geeking out.

On top of it all, there were some great resident bands and musicians in Las Vegas; granted, Kol wouldn’t want to be caught dead at a Shania Twain concert, but Green Day was right up his alley, and he knew that Bella and Myriam liked some of their music as well.

He watched with pride as Bella and Myriam mingled with the ‘fangirls’ of that TV show Bella had been writing about for years, Supernatural, was it? He overheard them talk about their favourite stories and as it turned out, Bella was quite known in that circle; at least her pen name was, and she wasn’t in the habit of revealing herself. Myriam knew that, so she basically outed Bella everytime her pen name was dropped.

Myriam and Bella went to concerts he didn’t want to go to – Backstreet Boys, really? And back to the convention floors, but after a week of either trailing behind them and be bored, or gambling and eventually get bored, Kol had enough. Myriam was stealing his girl and that was going to stop.

He had arranged a surprise for Bella, which hadn’t been easy to do even with compulsion because he had to find the right people first, but that had been alright, it stopped his boredom for awhile. He was pretty sure she was going to like this, as they had discussed doing something similar in Naples, Italy, before Nik called them back.

Kol put her into the passenger seat of the Jaguar convertible he had rented, and drove off. “Where are we going?” Bella laughed as she held on to the door as Kol was, as usual, demanding every ounce of speed out of the car.

“It’s a surprise,” Kol smirked, not taking his eyes off the road. “You will love it.” It was the perfect night to do this; despite the temperature dropping quite a few degrees at night, they were going to stay warm in the comfortable tent he had people set up for them in the middle of the desert, off the beaten path. They were going to spend the night underneath the stars and their mode of transportation would be horses.

Bella’s squeal upon seeing the ranch made his heart flutter. She was excited alright. “Oh, really? We’re going horseback riding?”

“Amongst other things,” Kol laughed as Bella started to bounce in her seat. “I know how much you love these creatures.”

“Are you kidding me?” she giggled. “If it hadn’t been for us living in the middle of New Orleans, I would love to have a horse of my own!”

“We could always move.”

“No,” Bella shook her head. “New Orleans is our home and we’re close to the family. Sure, we could move to the outside of New Orleans but… nah. Then we’d have to travel a distance to reach the shops.”

Kol laughed as he parked the car. “You’re just lazy.”

“Damn straight,” she replied. “Wow, look at those gorgeous horses,” she sighed happily as she got out of the car and breathed in the scent of horse manure and horse sweat. “The smell is amazing…”

“You’re insane,” Kol remarked, shaking his head. “Who loves the smell of manure?”

“Horse shit is different than cow shit.”

“It’s all the same to me, darling,” he took her hand, greeted the ranch owner and headed straight for their horses; two tan Quarter Horses.

“Aren’t we going to need a guide or go with a tour?”

“No, I know the way. I have been plotting and scheming while you and Myriam were having fun, plus, I have an excellent sense of direction.”

The first part of their journey was on the path that the ranch used for their tours, but then Kol veered off and Bella followed. The scenery was amazing, the sun was setting and all these little animals came out to play while others disappeared. “I love how you keep surprising me, Kol,” Bella smiled as she gently pat her horse’s neck. “You think of everything.”

“Where we are going, there’s even a hitching post for the horses with food and water.”

“My hero,” she giggled as she gently nudged her horse into a light canter. “It’s been years since I rode a horse, this is amazing, thank you.”

“Oh, but we’re not done yet,” he grinned. “Keep up, if you can!” Kol galloped away from her and all Bella could do was follow, chase him through the canyon until he finally came to a full stop near a small clearing where there was a small tent with a burning campfire in front of it, and as he said, a hitching post with food and water for the horses.

He allowed Bella to settle the horses while he pulled a cooler out of the tent and started to cook the steaks over a rack over the campfire. Kol hated camping out; there was nothing comfortable or fancy about it, but he made sure that they were going to be comfortable anyway; only the best air mattress available in the tent, nice warm sleeping bags and good food. Bella liked the simpler things, and this was definitely that.

Bella sat down next to him and snuggled up before kissing him on his cheek. “We’re going to spend the night?”

“Yes,” he smiled at her. “Or would you like to return to civilisation?”

“No, no, this is great! Just you and me.”

“And Mister and Disco.”

“Yes, and them, but I doubt they fit inside the tent,” Bella giggled.

“And I’m not into beastiality.”

“Oh,” Bella cooed as she peeked into the cooler and found a bottle of wine. “Outdoor sex! Underneath the stars!” Not finding any mugs or glasses, she opened the bottle and took a sip out of it and let out a big burp.

“Oh, that’s not lady like at all.” Kol laughed as he took over the bottle, drank some from it and produced an even bigger burp. “Oh, I’m such a child!”

“Yes!” Bella laughed. “Nobody can hear us here, Kol, let it all out!”

He wanted to leave the steaks and go for the first round with Bella, but he knew that she needed some food first; besides, they were premium steaks, it would be a waste to let them burn. For now, all he could do was will them to cook faster. Taking another swig from the bottle, he handed it back to her. “Good for you to say that, darling,” he said darkly. “I’m going to make you scream so hard tonight.”

She stared at him with open mouth. “Fuck.”


  1. Omg lol helicopter. I’m dying .

  2. Lol you and Meeko are so to blame for this.

  3. *dies laughing* helicopter helicopter helicopter helicopter….

    PS Freya needs to die or get smacked… One or the other lol

  4. Completely awesome!

  5. OH MY GOD LMFAO!!!!!! helicopter?? who’s idea?? lol she was acting like a child in klaus body oh my god that is wicked and then for her to deal with dahlia like nothing lol making her into a rat is perfect if they get bored she can feed her to a cat lol. and then Sweet kol made another appearance and took her on trail riding and then camping for the night.. bella is going to be so sore in the morning lol in more ways than one. Update again soon!

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