Myriam lead Klaus to Mason in the basement – again, Myriam hadn’t bothered to feed Mason or bring him anything to drink, but it would give Klaus something to do while she went on the hunt for Stefan and the coffins. Because Katerina was involved, she couldn’t entirely rely on her demons, but she had a feeling that Stefan was closer to home than she was made to believe.
She followed Damon into the Grill where he compelled the female bartender to put all the alcohol bottles on the bar so he could get day drunk. It was still quiet in the Grill, and after his fifth shot, Myriam ran up to him and smacked his head on the bar.
“Ouch!” Damon whined as he looked at Myriam. “Why did you do that for?”
She smacked his head on the bar again before snapping his neck and hauling him off to the alley behind the Grill. While he was unconscious, she found sharp objects lying around and pushed them inside of his body.
“What are you doing?” Damon groaned as he finally came to.
“Stefan doesn’t want Klaus to do anything against those he loves, but never said anything about me.”
Damon let out another groan before he started pulling the tiny pieces of glass and debris out of his body as he sat up. “What did that idiot do now?”
Myriam put her foot on his torso and pushed him back down. “You see, I don’t care about Klaus’ mission to create an army of hybrids, because, in the end, I know that it’ll go pear-shaped like any other grandiose plan he’s had in the past. And I get it that Stefan wants his revenge for what Klaus did to him, but you know… I don’t care. He kidnapped four bodies. I don’t care about three of them, but one of them is my best friend.”
“You have best friends?”
She put some more pressure on his torso. “Where is Stefan?”
“I don’t know! I don’t care! He betrayed us! We were supposed to kill Klaus, not save him!” Damon whined. “Just kill me already, why won’t you? You’re on team Klaus anyway.”
“And so what? He’s not evil or the bad guy, I mean, Mikael, now he was the big bad, but Klaus? He only wants what is owed to him. If you flip it around, Stefan’s the bad guy and so are you. No, even better… Elena is the bad one here.”
“What! No, Elena isn’t the bad one, she’s a victim.”
“Because you and Stefan put her in that role. She’s not a victim. She’s a manipulative bitch. You’d do anything for her, even kill people who don’t deserve to die. Then there’s Bonnie… now well, she needs to sort out her alignment. What kind of witch is she? One that helps vampires or one that hates them?”
Damon growled as he grabbed Myriam’s leg, snapped it and pushed her off of him, forcing her to the ground as he got to his feet. “You’ve been sipping the wrong kool-aid, sister.”
“I am not your sister,” she replied as she threw him off of her, snapped her leg back in place and pushed him against the wall, grabbing the nearest loose pole and impaled him on it. “Where is Stefan?”
“I don’t know!” Damon said again. “Leave me alone!”
“Yeah, good idea. I think Elena’s next on my list…”
“You leave her alone!”
“Ha. You can’t tell me what to do,” Myriam countered. “Tell Ric I said hi.”
“Myriam, if there’s any shred of decency left inside of you, you’re going to leave Elena alone,” Damon groaned as he tried to get off the pole he was impaled on.
She seemed to think for a moment and shrugged. “Very well,” she replied before running off. It was a good thing that Klaus had told Tyler to get all buddy-buddy with Jeremy Gilbert before he ran from Mikael, meaning that Jeremy was now off of vervain. She found him and Tyler shooting beer cans in the woods. “Hi, guys.”
“What are you doing here?” Jeremy said as he pointed the crossbow at Myriam.
Myriam laughed as she shook her head and used her speed to knock the crossbow out of his hands. “It’s a good thing you’re actually trying to protect yourself and your family, Jeremy. At least you’re not the useless Gilbert, you have brains!” She said as she rubbed her knuckles on his head. She then looked at Tyler. “How’s it going, Tyler? Is he clean?”
Tyler nodded slowly. “Just like Klaus wanted him to be.”
“Well, good thing I’m doing this for Klaus then,” Myriam smiled at him before looking at Jeremy. “Let’s have a chat, Jer. When you go home for lunch today, you’re going to leave your beautiful ring on the dining room table… no wait, you’re going to take it upstairs and put it in Elena’s drawer where she keeps her underwear,” she smiled at him. “Then, you’re going to go to the bathroom and drink some soapy water before you’re going to eat a nice sandwich and head back out with Tyler because you two are best buds, aren’t you?”
“And on your way home for dinner, you’re going to walk in front of a speeding car in your street. Make sure Elena and Alaric are watching.”
“But I’ll die.”
“Likely. But that’s okay buddy, you’ll die for the greater good,” she smiled at him, ruffling his hair. “Now, do you understand what you have to do?”
“Good. Now forget that I was ever here.”
While Myriam was on her way back to town, she was wondering what else she could do to make sure that Stefan would know that she was on a warpath. Oh, maybe she could start a fire at the Salvatore house?
She checked in in the Grill where Damon and Alaric were drinking. Well, Damon was continuing his drinking while Alaric was grading papers. It was quite busy in the grill, and Myriam decided to have a little bit of fun while Damon and Alaric still hadn’t noticed her. One by one, she compelled the patrons to go up to Damon and drive their knives into his body. Any part. Didn’t they have knives? They were to break their glass and hurt him with it. Of course, they wouldn’t remember a thing and wouldn’t remember it happening in the first place.
“Would you stop it!” Damon had finally spotted Myriam sitting in the farthest corner of the Grill. Of course, as a former employee, she knew the best spots to hide.
Alaric looked over his shoulder and shook his head laughing. “All this because of Stefan?” Damon had told him about his encounter when he came to the bar to grade papers and wait for Jeremy.
“Well yes, supposedly Stefan took her bestie,” Damon winced when someone drove a knife in his back, and he mixed himself a margarita instead.
“I thought he took Klaus’ family?”
“Well yeah, apparently she’s really close with one of them.”
“And she’s taking this out on you because?”
“She thinks I know where Stefan is,” Damon winced when Alaric finally pulled the knife out of his back. “I don’t, but she doesn’t listen. I swear, she’s worse than Klaus!”
“What does Klaus have to say about Myriam’s behavior?”
“I wouldn’t know, would I? It’s not like he and I are the best of pals!” Damon growled as he turned around to look at Myriam. “But I’d sure love to know his opinion about his abusive wife.”
“He’d be so turned on right now,” Myriam smirked after the last compelled person took a seat back into their chair and walked over to Damon and Alaric. “I can keep that up all day if I have to, Damon. I might even risk Klaus’ ire and go after Elena. No more hybrids.”
“I told you not to!”
“Then go and find me Stefan and where he’s keeping the damn coffins!” Myriam slammed his head against the bar for the last time before she drove a knife through Alaric, practically ripping him in half. He was wearing his ring anyway.
“I’ll keep on doing that until you find me Stefan,” Myriam said plainly. “You get two hours. Then I’ll come and find you again. Right now I’m hungry.” She went straight home where she found a dead-ish Mason on the expensive rug in the living room. “Did you have to make him bleed like that? It’s difficult to get those stains out!”
“We’ll buy a new rug. How’s the hunt for our family going?”
“Oh, I’ve set things in motion…” Myriam said as she ungraciously allowed herself to fall onto the couch. “Damon saw a naughty side of me.”
“Oh?” Klaus was intrigued. “Please, tell me everything!” After she was finished telling him, Klaus was all over her, kissing her neck, nibbling her ear, his hands under her clothes, causing Myriam to laugh. “What?”
“Damon asked me what you thought of me doing what I did, and I told him you’d be aroused.”
“Oh, more than that, love,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m going to devour you.”
“Next to a werewolf who’ll soon wake up in transition.”
“We’ve had a worse crowd than one dead wolf.”
Myriam followed Elena and Damon to the old Witches’ place, overhearing them talk about Bonnie hiding the coffins and Stefan being inside. And so were the coffins. Well, now was a good time as any to try her ‘appear human’ talisman on a bunch of dead witches all at once, because she saw that the witches didn’t particularly like Damon and his ring wasn’t working inside the house.
Unfortunately, the witches were stronger than her talisman was and she, too, was affected by the witches messing with her daylight ring. “Oh for fuck’s sake!” Myriam breezed as she looked at Damon. “They’re here, aren’t they?”
“I don’t know! I know that Stefan is!”
“Oh, he’s in there alright. And hiding the coffins,” she snapped Damon’s neck and grabbed her phone. “Do you want to hear the bad news or good news?”
“Did you find them?”
“Of course, mon Loulou. I found them. The bad news is that they’re protected by a hundred dead witches, and I can’t get in to verify that they’re actually there,” she replied. “I think I’m going to light a pretty fire.”
“Shall I instruct Tyler to bite Caroline as a distraction?”
“I doubt that will work, he loves Caroline. It may be the one thing he wouldn’t do for you.”
“Can I try?”
“No!” Myriam shot at him. “Don’t you even try doing something because Stefan might dump Kol in the ocean and sorry Klaus, I love you, but I will not allow my best friend to get lost forever.”
“Ah, well, that’s my mistake then. The Founders Council are having a fundraiser tomorrow, and I thought I’d bring you along as my date. Perhaps we can convince that everyone’s lives will be better, protected, once Stefan returns my family.”
“Klaus. I’m handling it.”
Klaus sighed dramatically. “Very well, I’ll take one of my hybrids as my date. Would you mind if I gave them all a room in our home?”
“It’s my house, Klaus. You’re living in it because you’re mine. Your hybrids can stay in the yard in their dog houses.”
“There’s an abandoned home next door, I think I’ll give my hybrids something to do.”
“You do that.”
“And I will instruct Tyler to bite Caroline. He can’t refuse me.”
“You have to allow me some fun, love, it’s not fair you’re getting all the fun.”
“This isn’t fun!”
Myriam sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. “Fine. Have Tyler bite Caroline. It’s her birthday tomorrow anyway. Just… just don’t go to her place when she’s all delusional and stuff and be all nice to her. I know you love your blondes. It’s your weakness.”
“Are you jealous?”
“No. I hate the bitch,” Myriam stomped off after kicking Damon’s limp body and headed towards the nearest gas station. “So, are the coffins fireproof?”
“Of course not! Mother’s might be because of the spell that’s on it, but the others will burn and-“
“Will the daggers burn?”
“Please don’t set fire to the witches house. We know where they are now, I’ll make sure they’ll return safely. I’ll take it from here.”
“Myriam, I mean it. Don’t make me come and get you.”
“And then what? You’ll spank me?”
“Stop it. Come home.”
Myriam scowled as she hung up and ran into the building, straight to the basement to find a place without sunlight. “Fucker!”
“Ah, I was wondering who was going to show up first. You or Damon,” Stefan said with a small smile on his face. “I’m a bit surprised that it’s you.”
“You can keep the coffins. I only want one,” Myriam took a few deep breaths as she made herself small to stay out of the sun. “Please, Stefan. I just want my best friend back.”
Stefan scoffed. “If they’re your best friend, why are they in a coffin?”
“Long story,” Myriam shook her head. “I know they’re here. I can feel his essence. Please, you owe me this.”
“I owe you nothing, Myriam. You’re not getting one coffin until Klaus, and his hybrids leave town,” Stefan replied as he pulled her out of her hiding spot, causing her to burn. “See ya. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
She narrowed her eyes at him and ran out, straight for the Salvatore boarding house before she realised that she couldn’t enter anymore. Letting out a cry of frustration, she went home. “Don’t talk to me,” she shot at Klaus as she walked up the stairs to her room. “You can have your fun now.”
Myriam smiled from ear to ear when Klaus’ hybrid started to roll the coffins into her home. She had cleared out the dining room for them for storage, and she couldn’t wait to wake Kol. Granted, Klaus had to go through a lot to get them back, even risking losing his precious Doppelganger, but she had her best friend back.
However, before she could do anything, Elijah appeared and extracted the hybrid’s heart. “Now, what did I miss?” He asked while he cleaned his hands with his handkerchief and looked at Klaus’ dumbfounded face. “You look surprised to see me. So it wasn’t you who removed the dagger from my chest.”
Klaus composed himself quickly. “You look like you could do with a drink, and we have a lot to discuss, so shall we?”
It was then when Elijah started to attack Klaus and Myriam watched as the parlour was being smashed to smithereens. Her french doors. Her beautiful table. “Take this outside!” Myriam called from the dining room, not wanting to interfere with the two brothers. “You’re ruining my home!”
“Stay out of this,” Elijah told Myriam before Klaus threw him through another table.
“You have every right to be right at me, Elijah,” Klaus barked. “But I kept my word,” he said as he moved between Myriam and his brother. “I reunited you with our family.”
Elijah didn’t pull his punches when attacking Klaus again, and Myriam rolled her eyes as she stepped aside, and Klaus fell onto Kol’s coffin. She watched with fascination as he opened the coffin and pulled out the dagger, threatening Elijah with daggering him again. Elijah was daring him to do it again as she walked around the coffin to stand behind Klaus and wait for her best friend to get back in his feet. She’d take him out for a snack when he did.
“I dare you, use it. You’ll have Kol to deal with.”
Klaus lowered the dagger. “Mikael is dead.”
“What did you say?”
“I killed him, with his own weapon. He’s gone, Elijah. Forever.”
“Why does our family remain in these coffins? Finn for over 900 years, Kol for over a century?”
“Because of Stefan Salvatore,” Klaus replied, anger in his voice. “He holds the one thing keeping me from freeing him. There are things you do not know about our past, our mother’s death, things I never wanted you to know. But I’m ready to tell you now.” He then walked to the jar that held the ashes of the white oak tree. “I only wish you remember your oath of loyalty to me.”
“Klaus, don’t,” Myriam said as she realised what she was going to do and tried to block him from daggering Kol again. “Come on, he doesn’t deserve to be down this long. I’ll take care of him. Please.”
“You said that the last time and he plotted against me. Before that, you weren’t even there, so that doesn’t count, but before that, he set fire you your beloved club, remember that, love? You think you have some control over him, but you don’t.”
“Because I’m not controlling! I’m his friend!” She pushed Klaus away from Kol. “Don’t do this to him, Klaus. He doesn’t deserve to stay down.”
“Elijah and I have a lot of catching up to do. I promise you, love, once everything settles down, I’ll undagger Kol.”
“You say that all the time!” Klaus pushed past her and pushed the dagger back inside Kol. “Cochon!” Myriam slapped him and ran out of the house to the Salvatore Boarding House. Knowing that she couldn’t enter, she sat down on the steps, sulking.
She waited for hours, and then Damon arrived home first. She was glad it was Damon, he was more agreeable than Stefan. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be cosying it up with your husband?”
“I would be if you hadn’t undaggerd his brother,” she said as she got to her feet and leaned against one of the pillars. “Why?”
“To talk some sense into him!”
“Like I’m going to tell you. You’re on team Klaus,” Damon huffed. “Besides, you hurt me, Myriam. Me. You’re not supposed to do that because you’re supposed to be the nice one!”
Myriam shrugged. “Anyway, you need to call Elena to invite me inside.”
“And why would I want to do that?”
“Because you undaggered Elijah and thus you upset the balance between Klaus and I. So I’ll be bunking with you.”
“Yeah, no way in hell, Myriam. Get lost.”
“You want to know what’s in the fourth coffin?” She asked as she approached him. “Is that why you have Bonnie and her mother down in the cave right now with the coffin? No vampire can enter because it’s protected, isn’t it?”
“We’ll figure it out. Don’t need you for that.”
“Oh come on, Damon, I don’t want to be at my house right now. Please?”
Myriam let out a long sigh as she grabbed her phone out of her pocket and fake dialled a number before putting a hand on Damon’s chest, looking up at him through her lashes. “Hi love, I’m just calling you to inform you that Damon and I are going to rent a motel room and have sex. We both have some anger issues to- Oh. You don’t like that, huh? I don’t care.”
Damon put his hand on her mouth. “Fine!”
“Thank you, love,” she smiled as she ‘disconnected’ the call.
“Are you insane! He’d rip me apart!”
“That’s the point. Call Elena?”
It was a good thing that the coffins were now in her home. Whatever Bonnie and the witches did to hide them in the first place had been lifted, and she could now interact with Kol’s demon again. While Stefan and Damon were enjoying dinner with Klaus and Elijah, Myriam stayed at the Salvatore House watching some dumb sitcom on television with a very expensive bottle of wine.
It was when Kol’s demon alerted her that he’d been awakened, she hurried home. She was surprised to see that everyone was on their feet, even Finn, the brother she hadn’t met yet, and the Original Witch. Klaus’ mother. The wicked witch from the West. She’d never felt good about Finn’s coffin nor Esther’s coffin and to have them both out meant that there was trouble on the rise.
However, they were all quietly enjoying something to eat and to drink, and Myriam just stood there, watching. They didn’t even notice her, apart from Kol. Who, eventually noticed her and rose with a big, goofy grin on his face. “I was wondering where you were,” he said as he walked towards her to hug her tightly. “I’ve missed you! Oh, thank you so much for the company, it made it a lot more bearable this time round.”
Myriam let out a sigh of relief as she hugged him back, happy to feel him in her arms again. “I tried, you know… he wouldn’t let me.”
“I know you tried, my friend told me,” he smiled widely at her.
“Oh, that’s just rich,” Finn rolled his eyes. “A vampire groupie? When did you pick her up, Kol? I can’t believe she stuck around for this long to wait for your return.”
Myriam could feel Kol stiffen in her arms and she smiled at him. “Breathe,” she told him before looking at Finn. “1698 is when we met,” she told Finn. “He kidnapped me.”
“Now now, darling, you kidnapped me first,” he chided her playfully. “Disturbing me in my feed.”
“Rescuing an innocent young woman,” she said at the same time.
“She was a very gifted witch,” Kol nodded and saw his brother roll his eyes at him. “Honestly! We became the best of mates, and then Nik daggered me a few years later, and when I woke up again, she and him got married.”
“What!” Finn said shocked before looking at his mother who had an incredulous look on her face before looking at his other brother. “Tell me he’s joking.”
“He’s not,” Myriam replied as she pulled Kol along with her to Klaus and nestled in Klaus’ lap, still holding Kol’s hand, not willing to let him go just yet. She loved him being back. “I’ve been Klaus’ wife for over 300 years. I’m sure we have our marriage certificate somewhere still?”
Klaus looked over to Elijah. “Do we?”
“Of course, and if not, there are still old records in France where you two got married, if mother and our brother really wanted to see the evidence.”
Myriam knew that Finn had a healthy dose of self-loathing and hated to be a vampire, thinking that they were incapable of any sense of morality, humanity. “We wed when I was still human. Klaus turned me here, in the New World.”
“What were you possibly thinking? Foolish girl!”
“Foolish or not, I love your brother, Finn. He’s my husband. And your other brother is my best friend, so if you’re going to hurt them, you will be sorry,” she said, a tone of warning in her voice.
“You don’t want to make her mad,” Kol grinned. “Isn’t this lovely, Mother? The whole family complete, including a daughter in law. Just like you wanted. Us to be a family again!”
Myriam’s demons alerted her that Esther was quietly magically poking around to see if Myriam was genuine, but her demons made sure to deflect any assault. She smiled at Esther then. “If you’d like to know something, Mrs Mikaelson, I’d respectfully want to ask you to use your words, not your magic.”
“What are you?” She asked curiously.
“I’m a very breakable vampire in my own house surrounded by a bunch of powerful Original vampires. I suppose that makes me either very stupid or very brave,” Myriam replied with a shrug. “I still have some protection measures left from when I was a witch.”
“Your house?” Elijah blinked. “But Niklaus said-”
“It’s our house. But I built it 150 years ago. It’s mine. I used my own funds for this. It’s my house. You’re all my guests, and please stop smashing things when you’re angry.”
“Well then, does that mean I’d need your permission to host a ball tomorrow night in honour of our family’s reunion?” Esther asked Myriam.
“You do,” she nodded before looking at Klaus. “What do you think?”
“What mother wants, mother gets.”
“I suppose we’re throwing a party tomorrow night then,” Myriam smiled and softly kissed him before finally letting go of Kol and got off of Klaus’ lap. “Now, if you’d excuse me, it’s time for me to retreat. Have a good night.” Myriam went upstairs to her room and opened her drawer filled with Dark Objects. She needed to protect her room. She had removed all safety from the house once Klaus had returned to her, with his army in tow, but she didn’t and couldn’t trust Esther. At least her and Klaus’ bedroom was going to be a safe one. And Kol’s and Rebekah’s. She didn’t care much for the others.
This ball was going to be interesting. She had every available demon spying on Esther now, she was likely planning something, and Myriam didn’t like that. At all.