how to deal with insecurity aka why you shouldn’t look at the numbers because it’s very disheartening

So in my previous post I talked about how to up your word count, because for some it’s hard to get a big word count. I think that we’re now going to talk about writing speed. Or insecurity. Or jealousy. I don’t know yet. We’ll see when we get to the point. If I can make one.

You see, the thing is, everyone types at a different rate. Some type 10 finger blind and like a steam train late for their station, some type with 2 fingers and have to look at the keyboard all the time to find the letters.

And both are FINE!

There are people who can update their story every week, and there are people who update maybe once a month. Or once in two months. Or hell, maybe even once a year.

And this has various reasons;

• Some people don’t work and sit at home all day
• People have kids and some don’t
• Writing speed
• Writers block or no writer’s block
• Word count
• Patience vs impatience
• Other life circumstances that interrupt their writing time

I can think of more, but I think you get the gist here, we’re all different. We’re ALL DIFFERENT.

However, I don’t know about you, but I often catch myself being jealous of my friend writers who upload every once in a while and they get a high number of reviews for their chapters/stories, and I struggle to get 200 views a week and 5 reviews on a chapter.

This isn’t me complaining. This is me being honest. I get jealous, because other writers SEEM to be more popular. And the high view count and review count is because some are slow with updating. I upload every week. Of course I get less. Duh. It’s also not a popularity contest. Duh.

Does that mean my stories are any less than those of others? No. I know they’re different, you don’t have to tell me that, but they’re not any less. I simply have more time on my hands to write, I write fast and I ALWAYS sit on at least 10 chapters so I can post every week. I also work on only one story at a time so people don’t have to wait long to have a complete story.

But does this mean that the writers who upload sporadically feel good about that then? Likely not, either. They want to write, update and post as much as I do but it’s either life or work getting in the way. If it’s not that, it’s the muses being unresponsive. Or it’s just not working.

It sucks being a writer, because no matter how you write, how fast you write or how slow, or how much or little, there’s always that dreaded thing; Views and Reviews.

Reviews are awesome. I mean, I like getting the few that I get, I can’t imagine what the ones who get a lot of reviews after an update must feel. And likely 80% of those reviews must be ‘update soon’ because of the sporadic updates. And most of the time that gives an adverse reaction to writers, did you know that? Not to me because I update regularly but I know writers who hate getting that as a review. It puts pressure on the kettle, sort to speak.

I mean, I write for myself. I shouldn’t pay attention to the numbers but I can’t help it. Sometimes it frustrates me to no end. Instead, I should stick to my low threshold for posting another chapter at 200 views and/or 5 reviews because I am proud of the fact that my readers don’t have to wait long for a story of mine to be complete. That I’m capable of working on one story at the time and thus, in my eyes, I’m being more efficient.

I see the difference even with the stories I write with Meeko under the name MeekoBuggy. Between Heaven And Hell WAS uploaded once a week before I got distracted, and I’m writing most of that story. When I updated both that story and Underground Railroad on the same day, the one with the most views and reviews on the new chapter is Between Heaven And Hell. That hadn’t been updated for 4 months. Ugh.

Let’s get a bit mathy;

If I’d upload once a month, it’d take me 2 years to post a complete story. My stories are usually 30+ chapters. Considering that, if I’m feeling great, I am able to write a full story in 3 months of around 30 chapters, sometimes even more. I’d be sitting on so many complete stories by the end of those two years… And yes, I could upload another story every two weeks so I’d have one week the one story, the other week the other, but wouldn’t that get incredibly confusing for you as a reader?

I just realized that this year, I’ve been uploading and updating something EVERY WEEK. Sometimes twice a week and that won’t stop. And to be fair, that’s kinda nuts. But also fairly awesome.

So yeah, it’s a good thing to remind myself that it’s not all about the numbers. It’s about the fun I HAVE writing it.

But reviews are always good. Even if the review is only one word. Or two. So whenever you read a story, just leave “thank you” or something like that, we writers love to know who’s reading our stuff! We’d love to know if we brightened your day or… you know… whatever our stories make you feel! Because… after all… we provide books for free 🙂

So, let me hear your thoughts on this matter! Do you suffer from number envy? Insecurities? How do you deal with it?