Ziva eagerly bounded ahead, wanting off the planet and back in to familiar surroundings. Walking through the gate on the other side, she wasn’t surprised to see a few marines with their weapons raised. She immediately sat down and yawned again. She couldn’t understand why cats slept so much. She really didn’t have that big of a lunch.
“Lower your weapons,” John said when he stepped through the gate, “She’s fine.”
“Dear God,” Carter said as she ran off the stairs. “Teyla and Rodney weren’t kidding.”
Another snort from Ziva as she got up to circle around John’s legs as he approached Carter. No shit, she thought.
“Ziva,” John chuckled. “Would you stop?”
No.
When Ziva didn’t stop running around him and trying to make him fall over, he shrugged. “I’m taking her to my quarters.” John said to Carter. “Tell Carson not to bother in trying to check her over, she already hates Doctors and I don’t want her to… do something stupid.”
I’m not THAT out of control. I know this is not normal, Ziva tried to say.
Sam looked at her as she went to sit on the side of the gateroom that led to the medical area, and not the quarters. “Does she understand us? Or you understand her?” she asked.
“She understands us,” John answered. “And well, it’s still Ziva behind those eyes, I sort of understand her, but I’m thinking about making a few notes with words such as ‘hungry’ ‘toilet’ and ‘sleep’ or something, to make it easier for her to communicate.”
“That’s a good question though. What are we going to feed her. I doubt a burger and fries will sustain her. We already designated the south east pier for her to use for her – business. The question of the matter would be who is going to clean it later,” she grinned.
“Ziva, once she’s human again,” John shrugged. “She knows not to touch things without Rodney’s approval and she did it anyway.”
No I’m not. I didn’t even realize what I was doing you idiot, Ziva grumbled. I read reports too you fool. You touched that crystal creature and found out it had a way to draw you in. I am not responsible!
“Ah, she sounds pissed…” John looked at Ziva and then back at Carter. “I guess I will… or maybe the botanists would love to scoop it all up and use it as compost.” he shrugged. “And I’m sure that raw meat would suffice for her. If not, we’ll have to radio Ronon and ask if he can shoot a deer or two.”
I don’t think that is kosher…
“So, I’ll be taking her to my quarters now, and she won’t leave my sight. I’ll do my paper work and take care of her,” John sighed. “She won’t be any trouble.”
Little did he know, Ziva was already around the bend of the corridor heading up to the infirmary to see Carson. She didn’t walk fast, just ampled along like a regular housecat in its home.
Sam grinned and pointed into the direction Ziva had gone off to. “Oh crap,” He sighed and darted after her. “Ziva!”
Ziva kept walking but stayed slow enough that John could catch up easily. When he did, all she did was snort in greeting. He wouldn’t shoot her for being willing to see the doctor. As long as he didn’t stick anything up her ass…That was John Only zone.
“I should find something that makes noise and put that around your neck, like a cat bell or something.” he glared at her, “Don’t wander off, remember? Especially when you’re a big black scary cat and surrounded by people who stare at you.”
Whatever. She continued on, walking right into the infirmary and jumped up to lay down on an exam bed to the surprise of all the nurses and staff on duty. Ziva didn’t see Carson and hoped he was around because she wasn’t about to deal with any other doctor there…Especially Cole.
“Ehm… Doctor Beckett?” One of the nurses called out with a small voice. “There’s a big cat laying on one of the exam tables!”
“Don’t worry, she’s with me.” John said lightly as he entered the infirmary.
If Ziva could laugh she would right then. The looks on everyone’s faces and John the way he came in. She flexed her paw so that her nails came out and studied them curiously while she waited for Carson to show up.
“Ziva, stop intimidating the nurses, your nails are fine,” John rolled his eyes and sat down on the table next to her, waiting for Carson.
She playfully pawed at him, amused at the new interaction. Hell, she had to find something to keep her sane and that was to drive John crazy. Her nail caught in his pants, ripping them down his leg. Ooops.
He took the nearest hard thing he could find, a clipboard, and hit her on the head with it. “Bad kitty.” He checked up on his leg and sighed. “At least you didn’t draw blood.”
Carson came in confused. Evidently he was out on a house call for a scientist that was in their quarters with the flu. “What’s this I hear about a cat in the infirmary?” he called out before stopping short at the sight before him. “Uhh…”
“Don’t worry, her growl is worse than her bite.” John chuckled.
“No, I’m fairly certain that her bite is worse. Why did you bring a cat to Atlantis?” he asked looking at John like he lost his mind.
“Well, this is the result of touching something ancient without someone’s approval.” John nodded. “Doc, this is Ziva.”
“Oh dear God,” he sighed. “Well, I’m no veterinarian you know. I’ll check her out the best I can. Is Rodney looking into what changed her?” Carson bustled around and started feeling along Ziva’s fur. When he got closer to her rear end, she was more conscious of his movements and not too pleased.
“Yep, it might take him a couple of days to fix it,” John nodded. “He’s fairly certain it’s one of Janus’ experiments.” Once Ziva’s tail started to sweep up and down the bed he shook his head. “She doesn’t like that very much, Carson.”
The doctor looked down at her and what he was doing. “Oh. Ehm well, from what I can see, you are very healthy. I take you are rather sensitive about your nether regions so we will let you be,” he said, patting her on the head carefully.
Ziva rolled her eyes. I am not a house cat, she growled as she jumped off the bed to leave.
“Thanks Carson,” he nodded and hopped off the bed to follow Ziva. “I’ll call you if we need anything.”
She was irritated already being back but still tried to be patient as she made her way back to John’s quarters. At least they would be able to spend some time together and not worry about being interrupted. If she were human it would be 100 times better.
Once they were in his quarters, he grabbed some paper and a pen and wrote words on them which he spread out over the floor. Just one word per paper, with the basic needs of a person. ‘Hungry’, ‘scared’, ‘toilet’, ‘sleep’ were the first words, he’d think of others later.
Ziva settled on the floor near his feet and watched him. Sighing, she laid down, frustrated that she couldn’t do much of anything. This sucks, she thought as her eyes followed his movements.
He looked at Ziva and rolled his eyes at her. “I’m not going to play with you and a ball of string, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
She growled and blew out her nose at the idea. She was not a ball of string girl. Regardless she didn’t know what to do with herself and it was frankly annoying.
“Alright,” he sighed and put his pad down. “Come here,” he walked to the bed and patted on the duvet. “Let’s just lay down for a while.”
Hopping up on the bed, she laid down with one paw thrown over him and her head on his lap. This is going to be a long couple of days, she said. Eat, sleep, eat, sleep. The life of a cat is boring.
John knew full well that she was sulking, but he also knew that she should have been glad that she had turned in to a cat and that it didn’t change her personality much, there were worse things that could have happened. He absent-mindedly started to scratch her behind her ears, and wondered what the hell they were going to do should Rodney be unable to change Ziva back.
Sure, he acted like the calm guy, but that was only to keep Ziva calm, the last thing she needed was to freak out, and the last thing he needed was for her to freak out and rip him to shreds. He could already throw away his pants, but had she had dug her nails deeper into his slacks, he would have had a big problem.
Ziva turned her head sighing. She looked up at him with her new ‘kitty frown’. They’d been together long enough to know that his thoughts were going a mile a minute and he needed to let some emotion out. She could handle him and would not attack him – ever. Their nightly questions to learn and open themselves to each other had seemed to be fairly successful so far. She lifted her head and looked at him, hoping he would try to figure out what she wanted. It would likely end up in the worst case of charades.
“What?” he smiled at her and softly caressed her underneath her chin.
How could she try to tell him it was okay to get his freaking out while they were alone. She looked around the room and back at him, frustrated. I hate this, she said.
She sounded sad, well, of course she sounded sad, she couldn’t do much in her current state. “I know, I know…” he nodded. “This sucks, but it could have been worse,” he nodded. “You’re going to be fine.”
Ziva growled lightly, indicating that while she understood him, that his reassurance wasn’t what she wanted then. She wanted him to pace back and forth, freaking out. Not trying to put a brave face on for her. Evidently that was one thing they would have to talk about when, if, she turns back. Freak the hell out John, she sighed. I’m going to have your baby. Well kittens now… He couldn’t understand the lie but she wanted something to react out of him.
“We’re just going to have to wait for McKay,” he assured her, “Believe me, if he says that it could take days, he eventually realizes that he has found the solution hours before.” he softly stroked her back before gently shifting on the bed so that he was laying down. He put an arm around her as he snuggled up. “This is as far as I’ll go, you know…” he chuckled. “But you’re nice and warm for a change.”
Rolling her eyes, she easily slipped out from under his arm and paced in front of his bed, looking back at him. If she needed to play charades, she would try. Still – this was going to suck.
“What? Do you need to go onto the pier?”
No! Ziva growled. Try again. Her pacing increased, along with her tail whipping around. Hopefully he was smart enough but now she wasn’t so sure.
“Alright, you’re upset.” he nodded. “I know you are but it’s okay,”
Another growl came out as she looked around before pulling at the blanket with her teeth causing him to slide down further. You, John.
“I’m not going to be your toy while you’re still catty.” John warned. “I don’t want to be ripped to shreds, thanks.”
No you idiot, Ziva said. You are way too freaking calm for me since all of this. She headbutted him until he fell back on the bed on top of his notepad.
“Alright, let’s make this easier for you,” he sighed and started to write a letter of the alphabet on each page, then he spread them out over the floor. “There, what do you want?”
Oh man. At least it’ll get somewhere eventually, she sighed and sat down to look at him bored. Get on with it.
“Go on then, step on the letter and I’ll try to keep up with you.” he pointed towards the papers across the floor.
This is ridiculous. Can’t you make sheets with names on it? Ziva asked as she spelled out his name.
“Yeah, that’s me.” he sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his hand through his hair. “What about me?”
F.R.E.A.K.O.U.T.
“Why? It won’t get me anywhere,” he shrugged, “I’ll freak out when McKay takes longer than his three days,” he continued. “I’ve learned to be patient when it comes to this.”
W.A.N.T.T.O.
N.O.T.G.O.O.D.
“Maybe not,” he replied. “But I’m fine.”
N.O.A.T.T.A.C.K.
I.M.O.K.
“I’m not going to hit you.” he said puzzled. “Why would I hit you?”
I.D.I.O…M.E.N.O.A.T.T.A.C.K.
“I’m not angry with you, and you’re not an idiot, just impatient.” he rolled his eyes. “Now drop it.”
Ziva growled and whimpered. Something in between.
U.I.D.I.O.T.
“Yes, probably.” he nodded, “And a very hungry one at that.” he continued. “Are you?”
G.O.O.D.W.A.N.T.U.F.R.E.A.K.
“Oh, I’m a freak now?” he chuckled and shook his head. “Fine, I’m getting some for myself, you’re staying here.”
She stared at him baffled. WTF?!?!?! she thought and sighed. Laying back down over the papers, she covered her head with her paws and whined.
“I love you, you know that, right?” he said as he walked towards the door. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”
Ice cream, BBQ chicken, sex…
“Oh, you’ve stopped talking to me,” he said disappointed and walked out of the door, making sure Ziva couldn’t get out of his quarters before he made his way to the mess hall.
This is ridiculous, Ziva thought as she paced the small room. Looking back at the stupid papers, her tail twitched as she sort of grinned as she began to shred them up. By the time John came back, she was stretched out on his bed, comfortable and acted like she was right at home.
He entered his quarters with a tray of human food in one hand and in his other hand he had a tray with some cooked meat without any spices on it so that Ziva could eat when she wanted to. He had this thing about eating raw meat and didn’t want Ziva to eat raw meat while he was in the room. He blinked when he saw the shredded papers all across his room. “Oh, very nice,” he said wryly. “Who’s going to clean that up?”
Ziva was purring and licking her paws like the pretty kitty she was with her tail flipping around happily. She looked at him as if to say ‘not me’.
Sighing, he sat down at his desk and put her tray of food down on the floor. “Chicken and beef,” he pointed at her tray. “Must be better than what you had on the planet, it’s cooked and everything.”
I don’t think that’s Kosher, she said sniffing the air.
